THIS SONG IS FOR …
A woman who chooses to withhold her name
Ave Maria (by Charles-François Gounod)
performed by Jacobi de Villiers & Eric Dippenaar
“What shall I say, what shall I write? I have deleted my words several times, written and rewritten them, tried again and again, but I know that even if I delete them, they will be an eternal replay…
An eternal retracing of feelings and of what I relive day after day. The smear is there, it stares at me every day, it forces me to have to confront it straight on, from the side, from the back…there is no getting away from it.
Today I am able to own it without guilt – I was abused. I felt guilty for years and wanted to prove to the world that everything was alright! But deep inside I was shattered.
My wounds will never ever heal completely, and I grow them (I have grown roses in this garden of mine). I care with much tenderness for this little corner of myself, because I know there is no cure, there are but ‘remedies’ taken in small doses to alleviate the symptoms of this silent wound.
Women: water your gardens and fertilize this incurable wound with self-love.
I will not write of the depths I have sunk to
I simply sing, meditate, pray…
Sing, meditate and pray for us!
One day at a time…”